Boudoir on my Self-Love Journey
Guest Blog Post by Rose Basson
Two years ago, I had a nursing infant and a toddler. My body was still healing from giving birth, and I was actively working on redefining my relationship with sexuality as an extension of deconstructing some toxic cultural belief systems. I knew I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, and I’d been practicing talking to myself about my body in positive language.
But I couldn’t have imagined the magic that would happen when Kati and I started making our way through the studio. At some point, I found myself waiting by the window for her to change a setting on the camera, and she looked up from doing that and said, “Have you ever modeled before?! You’re a natural!” And then snapped this image.
I didn’t see it right away, but I felt something shift in my body. I’ve always had a full-body relationship with my intuition, and in this moment, I remember sensing that I could trust myself to stand up tall and know that I looked how I felt. I had gone to the zen space in my mind where I’m most happy and creative, for just a second, and Kati saw it – that intersection of our instincts was magical, and became a formative moment in my continued journey towards a love for myself where my eyes are wide open and I can look into my own soul and love every edge of her.
That same session took me a few steps farther along the path, out of my comfort zone into trying to execute ideas I hadn’t fully formed. Trusting Kati, an experienced, intuitive artist, to catch me when I fell – in some cases, literally! – taught me that some of the most beautiful moments happen when I’m vulnerable. And boudoir is nothing if not a marriage of vulnerability and beauty!
Two years later, I’ve fallen even more in love with my stretch marks, dimples, freckles, and curves. I’ve built a routine of taking an average of 100,000 steps a week and practicing yoga to nourish my mind and body simultaneously, 3-5 times a week. I’ve seen the curves in my muscles grow and change, and felt the strength within emerge, mirroring the strength of my heart and soul.
When I came into the studio this month, there was an added element of excitement for what we could create together. That first shoot fueled my adventure in loving myself completely, and brought me to this space where I have passion and light to share. My first session felt like an absorption of all the love and kindness for our bodies that Kati has to give, a learning experience, one that gave me incredible memories to draw from. This time, I came in knowing exactly what energy I wanted to leave in the studio for the next goddess who takes that leap of faith in herself and in Kati.
This time, I was able to look myself in the eyes, in the mirror, to feel the folds form as I curved my spine, to laugh as I cartwheeled out of the handstand we both worked to get me into. And I wanted to leave that confidence, that safety, that knowing that I am more than enough in the images Kati took, and in the space itself. Imagine what the world would be like, how full of happiness, of genuine love and kindness, of beauty for no purpose other than beauty, if we could all see ourselves as fierce and beautiful and worthy, the way Kati sees us even before we walk through that studio door.
I love the endless possibility in the choice to be vulnerable, to trust someone to see the best in you, and to look at and speak to yourself with love. Kati creates an environment, and experience, and images that make the world better in these ways, one interaction at a time. She sees our sameness and our uniqueness and creates connection with an insistent, fierce kindness and passion. I came into the studio to meet a stranger I knew took nice photos, and I left with a friend who’s always there to see my human soul and cheer me on, to remind me of my beauty from my soul to my smile lines, and who trusts me to be in her life in the same way.